DON’T FREAK OUT! A cheat sheet guide for #iGen #newbies: how to make stress-free telephone calls when texting just won't do.
Start by telling them who's calling: "Hello, this is ... How are you?" If they ask how you are, answer that you are fine, nothing more, unless the call is really about how crappy things are. Because no one wants to get stuck on the phone listening to your personal problems. We have our own.
Next, ask them if this is a good time to talk. You have just interrupted their lives, so assume it's a bad time and don't take it personally if they say no. Offer to schedule a call, or ask them to call you back when they have a moment. If they don't call you back, they may not want to talk to you or may be too preoccupied to have a conversation. Let it rest for a day or two unless it's truly urgent.
If they sound like they have time to talk, get to the point. “I’m calling about”/ “I wanted you to know…” Now stop and wait for a reaction. Listen to understand if this is important enough to them to continue the call. If not, bow out: “Great to talk to you. Stay well!” Let it end.
Are they interested in talking? Then have a conversation like this: Listen until they are done talking. Then you talk in short, concise statements of just a few thoughts. Stop talking and wait patiently for a response. This isn’t texting where you can cover multiple topics simultaneously and follow the visual thread on screen. Listen. Talk. Wait. Listen. Talk. Wait. Silence is golden, it shows respect. Jabbering will cause eyes to roll. Make people happy to pick up when you call next time.
Listen. Talk. Wait. Listen. Talk. Wait.
Offer to end the call: “I know you have a lot going on. I'll check in later when you've thought about it/figured it out/found the answer/know what you want to do/update you on what’s going on. Life’s complicated. You're not their priority, so give them an out. If they say something like “I’ll have to let you get back to work” or “I should let you go” or “I’ve gotta get back to my knitting” that’s them saying goodbye. Respect it. Wrap up the conversation. Thank them for the information. Say, “Glad you’re ok”. Let it end.
If THEY are going on and on, but YOU need to end the call, say “I’ll have to let you get back to work” or “I should let you go”, or “Can I call you back later?” It’s old school #PhoneCode. It's OK.
Can’t get THEM to end the call? Just pipe up and say, Oh my gosh, the time! I have to go right now, let’s finish this soon. Thanks!” and hang up. Don't feel obligated to stay on the call way past your tolerance and interest level. But follow up if you say you will, even if by text.
Every now and then, you’ll end up talking for hours and time will fly. That's a bonus of using the phone. In the meantime, use these tips to connect over the phone without feeling panicked that you will say the wrong thing or have nothing to say. You’ve got this!
